Date:	2009-12-03 18:38
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome

I didn't feel like cooking.

Date:	2009-11-25 19:15
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome

Dear antlered hellspawn Majestic Stag,

I don't care how twitterpated you are, you may not try to have sex with my car door at 75mph on the interstate. Please at least wait until I stop.

I hope the semi behind me got you.

Love,
Sean

edit: upon closer inspection, I can probably pop the dent out with a rubber mallet. At least it wasn't the Volkswagen.

"SEAN YOU NEED TO POST THE IMBEDDED VIDEO FOR THE MAGFEST STEEL BALLS VID"




PS: Come to MAGfest or I'll fucking end you. http://magfest.org

Date:	2009-11-13 09:01
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome

Jane Goodall is a total GMILF.

That is all.

Date:	2009-11-02 11:22
Subject:	I love you, DMV.
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome
Music:	TMBG - Bangs

Tried to renew the registration on the Pikabug today. Apparently, according to DMV records, I sold it to someone in South Carolina back in February. Man, if I did, they're gonna be pissed because it's still sitting in my garage.

Now I have to take the title in and show them that I obviously did not sell it.

Aside from wasting my entire lunchbreak, I guess I can't be pissed about it. I'm more amused by their TOTALLY EFFICIENT recordkeeping than anything.

Like, what the tits, man.

Date:	2009-10-20 14:17
Subject:	Magical Mailsack
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome

Why thank you, Microsoft. Not many people know that the way to my heart is... beverage napkins and playing cards.

Date:	2009-09-24 12:54
Subject:	Desktop meme thinger
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome
Music:	Sloppy Seconds - Icecream Man

(Scaled down considerably, of course.)


Remember kids - if you want to look busy at work, just sync your portage tree. It looks VERY IMPORTANT.

Date:	2009-08-19 10:44
Subject:	The Allied Forces Crumble
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome
Music:	...

Once thought to be an ally nation, the Republic of Java has recently placed a trade embargo against the United States. In an unofficial press conference held earlier this morning, White House Foreign Affairs Representative Nathan Jakarta reported that this will be viewed as an act of war. The Republic of Java, located south-southeast of the Yukitan Peninsula, supplies 63% of all coffee imported to the United States, and more than 90% of all Qname functions.

Javan prime minister Jay Boss has yet to comment on this escalating situation.

Date:	2009-08-17 16:46
Subject:	My Songs - Let Me Send You Them
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome
Music:	The monotone hum of a server rack

This song was the highlight of my day. Download it and laugh. He lives in his parents' basement and is fat, but on the Internet, he's a total ladies' man.

I was pretty much sold at:


When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Download link: Brad Paisley - Online

Date:	2009-07-20 23:07
Subject:	Minna de Asobou! Koinu de Kururin
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome
Music:	Puppies being stacked

Holy shit, I can't get over this game. The past six hours of my life has been spent stacking puppies on top of each other, feeding them bones and sending them into doghouses. It's Puzzle Fighter + Dr. Mario + ...puppies. Match colors, form chains, send into colored doghouse. The game is win-win... puzzles and puppies... because everyone in the world likes at least one of those things.

F what ya heard. Puppystacking. God damn. My night is complete.

(more info on said game here: http://www.andriasang.com/e/galleries/2008/09/22/koinu_de_kururin/ )

Date:	2009-07-07 18:57
Subject:	AC09 - Bitches was all like... "Whaaaaaaaa?"
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome
Music:	Yardslaves and their mowers

...and I was all like, "MMMM-HMMMMMMM"

So, long-winded con-posts require effort, and I prefer a book with pictures...

( Once upon a time... )

And that was that.

CH1.

So there was this castle, right? It was called Castle Castleus in the Kingdom of Castlez. In the castle lived this chick who always did chores and stuff. She swore one day that she'd like… do other stuff. But the king was like "Yeah right bitch. Now clean my Royal Hiney." And she totally did (but didn't like it.)

CH 2.

On the other side of the Kingdom was probably some place called Othersidesvilleburg or some shit. A knight was being all badass and jousting and winning over the hearts of millions (because it was more heavily populated with the poor and stuff.) So like he decided to go for a walk one day and ended up over by Castle Castleus.

CH 3.

This horse was running around somewhere and was like… "Man, this sucks. I'm gonna go somewhere else. So he did. He too ended up over by Castle Castleus.

CH 4.

The Chick was standing on her Castle Loft peering over the plains. Her hair was blowing in the wind and she was thinking about how much her life sucks. She was going to write about it in her LJ but remembered that it was like 200 AD. Or around then because the calendar wasn't invented yet.

CH 5.

From the plains, Sir Badassius saw the Chick's golden locks flowing in the breeze from her loft. He felt a tingle somewhere in his loins and knew right then that he had to make her his maiden. So he went to Castle Castleus and talked to the king. The king was like "No way asshole. You don't get my Royal Hiney Washer. Piss off." So he made a really pouty face and left. Though he vowed that he would gut that fat fuck and take his Maiden for himself.

CH 6.

The Hoss had noticed the action from afar, but was soon distracted by the Chick's beautiful flowing locks. He got all tingly in his horseparts and knew right then that she had to make her his Maiden. He galloped over to Castle Castleus to talk to the King. The King was like "Whoa, horse. Come on in and have some tea." The Hoss was like "Sweet." And then he went inside. The King was unaware of The Hoss' ulterior motives. He was gonna get some ass come hell or high water.

CH7.

The Chick heard some commotion downstairs and went to see what was up. She saw the horse standing there in all of his majesty and immediately got all hot and bothered. The King probably noticed because he immediately became uncomfortable, but the Hoss kicked the king square in the face and killed him. The Chick immediately tore her clothes off and climbed on the Hoss' back They left the castle to go make sweet sweet love.

CH 8.

Sir Badassius saw them leave the castle and was like… "Hey come back with my Maiden!" but the Hoss just gave him the finger and kept riding. Badassius, upon seeing the Chick's nude body exploded all over his armor. This gave him the energy he needed and he grew wings and flew after the Hoss and his stolen Maiden.

CH 9.

The Hoss stopped and looked behind him, but totally didn't care about anything except the naked chick perched gallantly atop his flanks. He was like… "Hey baby. Now that we're alone let's do this." But they didn't see Badassius come from above. In one fair swoop he impaled the Hoss with his lance and scooped his Maiden into the air. She was all "Wow what a brave knight. I'ma hit that." They flew back to his nest ('cuz he has one apparently) and made the hottest hottest hottest birdknight/maiden sex that one could even imagine. And this is the way it was in the Days of Yore.

brb Indiana

Date:	2009-04-18 17:27
Subject:	Superb, sucka!
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome
Music:	Rythm Heaven beepboop stuff

That's right, Stupid Ping Pong level. I just made you my bitch. Now I never have to play you again.

Date:	2009-01-07 20:02
Subject:	MAGFest in a nutshell.
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome
Music:	Loud servers are loud

It was awesome. The End. Now have some quick videos of me and Qpa.

Date:	2008-12-25 20:03
Subject:	Don't look, Baby Jesus
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome
Music:	oontzoontzoontz

Y HALLO THAR

Date:	2008-11-28 16:17
Subject:	lol shoppers
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome

Black Friday: Use Ebay like a normal person and shut the fuck up

'Cuz Fun-size candy is for FUCKERS

Date:	2008-09-19 20:04
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	Awesome

Rules:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with your picture.

Date:	2008-08-06 16:22
Subject:	Cram your Loony up your Toony, you syrup-chugging son of a bitch.
Security:	Public
Mood:	passyoutty

Work today was pretty balls. I fought with a WSUS server for about six hours before giving up and calling it a day. On the way home, I decided to snag a sandwich from Subway. I'm pulling into the parking lot, following this car with Canadian tags. We park next to each other and get out and head for the Subway. Being polite (ie worked at the theatre too long...) I opened the door for the dude and then went in behind him. So, dude goes up to the counter and immediately informs the worker that he's never been to a Subway before, then proceeds to inquire about the items. Not the menu items, mind you... the individual toppings. It was kinda funny at first, but this went on for quite some time, with the inquiries going something like this:

"Is that pork? What sandwiches have pork on them? Oh, the pork sandwich? HURR HURR HURR."
"Is that steak? Does that mean you have a steak sub? Or is that for something else?"
"There's a picture of a meatball sub in the window, but you don't have meatballs here. Are you sold out?"
"Do you toast the subs? Is that before or after you put the toppings on? Oh, you can do it either way?"
"Is that cheese spicy? Can you make it spicier? Do you have barbecue sauce?"

This went on for about eight minutes. The poor guy behind the counter looked like he wanted to swallow his own face and I, along with the four other people who had since lined up behind me, wanted to stick a knife in this guy who is obvious a member of the Canadian Inquisition. His line of inane questioning continued until, much like a line from an Alanis Morisette song, I put one hand on his shoulder and the other one pointed at the FUCKING MENU. (She's also from Canada. Ironic, don'tcha think?) I said, "That's called a menu. All of the subs are up there. I'm aggravated and starving. Pick one, or I will eat you instead." He decided to let me go ahead. A wise choice.

I swear to god, if tourist season doesn't end soon I am going to put a bullet in one of them. For this guy, it would have been a mercy killing.