Awesomevilleburg

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 23:42:07 GMT

Snow is yet another oppressive tool of the white man.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:38:46 GMT

I didn't feel like cooking.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:15:19 GMT

Dear ~~antlered hellspawn~~ Majestic Stag,

I don't care how twitterpated you are, you may not try to have sex with my car door at 75mph on the interstate. Please at least wait until I stop.

I hope the semi behind me got you.

Love,
Sean

edit: upon closer inspection, I can probably pop the dent out with a rubber mallet. At least it wasn't the Volkswagen.

I dooo what I'm tooooooooold

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:16:50 GMT

"SEAN YOU NEED TO POST THE IMBEDDED VIDEO FOR THE MAGFEST STEEL BALLS VID"

PS: Come to MAGfest or I'll fucking end you. http://magfest.org

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:06:01 GMT

Jane Goodall is a total GMILF.

That is all.

I love you, DMV.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:32:15 GMT

Tried to renew the registration on the Pikabug today. Apparently, according to DMV records, I sold it to someone in South Carolina back in February. Man, if I did, they're gonna be pissed because it's still sitting in my garage.

Now I have to take the title in and show them that I obviously did not sell it.

Aside from wasting my entire lunchbreak, I guess I can't be pissed about it. I'm more amused by their TOTALLY EFFICIENT recordkeeping than anything.

Like, what the tits, man.

Magical Mailsack

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:21:52 GMT

Why thank you, Microsoft. Not many people know that the way to my heart is... beverage napkins and playing cards.

Desktop meme thinger

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:02:34 GMT

(Scaled down considerably, of course.)

Remember kids - if you want to look busy at work, just sync your portage tree. It looks VERY IMPORTANT.

The Allied Forces Crumble

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:02:41 GMT

Once thought to be an ally nation, the Republic of Java has recently placed a trade embargo against the United States. In an unofficial press conference held earlier this morning, White House Foreign Affairs Representative Nathan Jakarta reported that this will be viewed as an act of war. The Republic of Java, located south-southeast of the Yukitan Peninsula, supplies 63% of all coffee imported to the United States, and more than 90% of all Qname functions.

Javan prime minister Jay Boss has yet to comment on this escalating situation.

My Songs - Let Me Send You Them

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 21:08:39 GMT

This song was the highlight of my day. Download it and laugh. He lives in his parents' basement and is fat, but on the Internet, he's a total ladies' man.

I was pretty much sold at:

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Download link: Brad Paisley - Online

Minna de Asobou! Koinu de Kururin

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 03:21:16 GMT

Holy shit, I can't get over this game. The past six hours of my life has been spent stacking puppies on top of each other, feeding them bones and sending them into doghouses. It's Puzzle Fighter + Dr. Mario + ...puppies. Match colors, form chains, send into colored doghouse. The game is win-win... puzzles and puppies... because everyone in the world likes at least one of those things.

F what ya heard. Puppystacking. God damn. My night is complete.

(more info on said game here: http://www.andriasang.com/e/galleries/2008/09/22/koinu_de_kururin/ )

AC09 - Bitches was all like... "Whaaaaaaaa?"

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:38:07 GMT

...and I was all like, "MMMM-HMMMMMMM"

So, long-winded con-posts require effort, and I prefer a book with pictures...

~~So there was this castle, right?~~ So me an' Winterheart cruised up to Pittsburgh to raise all sorts of hell. And oh, what hell we raised.

There were disembodied heads...

I found some vintage NKOTB stuff for Beanie. I think she likes them!

Loungin' critter...

Playin' Chess...

BUNNEH

Boozin' with ~~Osama bi-~~ Lore!

Boozin' with ~~Axl Ro-~~ Zhayde!

Boozin' with ~~Joseph Stal-~~ Cubbi!

FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT

Jaggers gon' fuck you up.

Dingbat is the queen of krunk.

4th of July Ghetto Candle S'mores GO! (Best idea ever.)

S'mores send Winter into a diabetic coma (Or I blinded him. One of the two.)

Kim was with us in spirit.

All in all, I'd say it was pretty fuckin' win. Took Peanut back to the airport on Monday morning. He got back to Belgium at like 2:30a (EST) and woke my ass up, but it was good to hear that he made it back in one piece.

And that was that.

Every Romance Novel Ever Written

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 05:32:36 GMT

CH1.

So there was this castle, right? It was called Castle Castleus in the Kingdom of Castlez. In the castle lived this chick who always did chores and stuff. She swore one day that she'd like… do other stuff. But the king was like "Yeah right bitch. Now clean my Royal Hiney." And she totally did (but didn't like it.)

CH 2.

On the other side of the Kingdom was probably some place called Othersidesvilleburg or some shit. A knight was being all badass and jousting and winning over the hearts of millions (because it was more heavily populated with the poor and stuff.) So like he decided to go for a walk one day and ended up over by Castle Castleus.

CH 3.

This horse was running around somewhere and was like… "Man, this sucks. I'm gonna go somewhere else. So he did. He too ended up over by Castle Castleus.

CH 4.

The Chick was standing on her Castle Loft peering over the plains. Her hair was blowing in the wind and she was thinking about how much her life sucks. She was going to write about it in her LJ but remembered that it was like 200 AD. Or around then because the calendar wasn't invented yet.

CH 5.

From the plains, Sir Badassius saw the Chick's golden locks flowing in the breeze from her loft. He felt a tingle somewhere in his loins and knew right then that he had to make her his maiden. So he went to Castle Castleus and talked to the king. The king was like "No way asshole. You don't get my Royal Hiney Washer. Piss off." So he made a really pouty face and left. Though he vowed that he would gut that fat fuck and take his Maiden for himself.

CH 6.

The Hoss had noticed the action from afar, but was soon distracted by the Chick's beautiful flowing locks. He got all tingly in his horseparts and knew right then that she had to make her his Maiden. He galloped over to Castle Castleus to talk to the King. The King was like "Whoa, horse. Come on in and have some tea." The Hoss was like "Sweet." And then he went inside. The King was unaware of The Hoss' ulterior motives. He was gonna get some ass come hell or high water.

CH7.

The Chick heard some commotion downstairs and went to see what was up. She saw the horse standing there in all of his majesty and immediately got all hot and bothered. The King probably noticed because he immediately became uncomfortable, but the Hoss kicked the king square in the face and killed him. The Chick immediately tore her clothes off and climbed on the Hoss' back They left the castle to go make sweet sweet love.

CH 8.

Sir Badassius saw them leave the castle and was like… "Hey come back with my Maiden!" but the Hoss just gave him the finger and kept riding. Badassius, upon seeing the Chick's nude body exploded all over his armor. This gave him the energy he needed and he grew wings and flew after the Hoss and his stolen Maiden.

CH 9.

The Hoss stopped and looked behind him, but totally didn't care about anything except the naked chick perched gallantly atop his flanks. He was like… "Hey baby. Now that we're alone let's do this." But they didn't see Badassius come from above. In one fair swoop he impaled the Hoss with his lance and scooped his Maiden into the air. She was all "Wow what a brave knight. I'ma hit that." They flew back to his nest ('cuz he has one apparently) and made the hottest hottest hottest birdknight/maiden sex that one could even imagine. And this is the way it was in the Days of Yore.

Fri, 08 May 2009 22:27:44 GMT

brb Indiana

Superb, sucka!

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 21:39:28 GMT

That's right, Stupid Ping Pong level. I just made you my bitch. Now I never have to play you again.

MAGFest in a nutshell.

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 01:06:58 GMT

It was awesome. The End. Now have some quick videos of me and Qpa.

Don't look, Baby Jesus

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 01:04:12 GMT

Y HALLO THAR

lol shoppers

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 21:29:07 GMT

Black Friday: Use Ebay like a normal person and shut the fuck up

Trick or Treat

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:40:26 GMT

'Cuz Fun-size candy is for FUCKERS

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 00:18:37 GMT

Rules:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with your picture.

Cram your Loony up your Toony, you syrup-chugging son of a bitch.

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:18:26 GMT

Work today was pretty balls. I fought with a WSUS server for about six hours before giving up and calling it a day. On the way home, I decided to snag a sandwich from Subway. I'm pulling into the parking lot, following this car with Canadian tags. We park next to each other and get out and head for the Subway. Being polite (ie worked at the theatre too long...) I opened the door for the dude and then went in behind him. So, dude goes up to the counter and immediately informs the worker that he's never been to a Subway before, then proceeds to inquire about the items. Not the menu items, mind you... the individual toppings. It was kinda funny at first, but this went on for quite some time, with the inquiries going something like this:

"Is that pork? What sandwiches have pork on them? Oh, the pork sandwich? HURR HURR HURR."
"Is that steak? Does that mean you have a steak sub? Or is that for something else?"
"There's a picture of a meatball sub in the window, but you don't have meatballs here. Are you sold out?"
"Do you toast the subs? Is that before or after you put the toppings on? Oh, you can do it either way?"
"Is that cheese spicy? Can you make it spicier? Do you have barbecue sauce?"

This went on for about eight minutes. The poor guy behind the counter looked like he wanted to swallow his own face and I, along with the four other people who had since lined up behind me, wanted to stick a knife in this guy who is obvious a member of the Canadian Inquisition. His line of inane questioning continued until, much like a line from an Alanis Morisette song, I put one hand on his shoulder and the other one pointed at the FUCKING MENU. (She's also from Canada. Ironic, don'tcha think?) I said, "That's called a menu. All of the subs are up there. I'm aggravated and starving. Pick one, or I will eat you instead." He decided to let me go ahead. A wise choice.

I swear to god, if tourist season doesn't end soon I am going to put a bullet in one of them. For this guy, it would have been a mercy killing.

Come Together

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:14:21 GMT

Kidd, you need a baby, if only for this reason.

Just when "Wendy Berger" wasn't funny enough

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 20:23:30 GMT

Going through my reservation list today, I found a name that made me die.

It seems that My Wang has reserved a nonsmoking room with two double beds. Crafty little bastard.

PSA

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:41:11 GMT

Until further notice, you will refer to submarine sandwiches as "Yum Rockets."

That is all.

Anthrocon Revisited - "Dear Livejournal... It Happened Again"

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 06:40:01 GMT

I've been busy as all bitchtits since I got back, so I shall now take a breather and recap this year's AC.

I headed to Pittsburgh at about 1:30 Thursday morning. Driving the Pikachu was a friggin' riot. Aside from the fact that by the time I crossed the PA border I still had more than half of a tank of gas, I'd simply forgotten how much fun that little critter is to drive on the highway. By the time the sun started to come up I had people honking and waving and following me to rest stops with cameras. I even ran into these guys I met on I-70 again at the Omni. I-376 into Pittsburgh was total balls, and I did the last 15 miles in 2nd gear. Got to the Omni and the room wasn't ready (didn't figure it would be) so I tooled around the Westin until I got to check in. After covering the entire room with small plastic horse heads (like ya do...) I dozed off (read: passed the fuck out) to wait for Beanie, Karn & Kyp.

The rest of the days sorta blend together so I won't even try to break them down. We spent most of the weekend hanging out with Paul, Janis, Tresch, Cypher, Trianine, Ramsey, Sirfox, Marmar, Richek, Arty, Vinci, JoeyPoey... uhh... *fizzle*... Ran into Cajun... Wow, maybe there really ARE too many people at AC? Nahhhh. I wandered off to cause trouble with Stage and Mith. Mith has a new husky costume named "Guage," and I even managed NOT to punch him in the nose this year. Ran into Kodi, Landis, Longshot, Swift, Leon and the rest of the kids at the Westin, so I got to harass them for a while. Managed to miss Furp the entire weekend, so he gets a foot in the ass next year.

The rain really put a damper on things, costume-wise. Beanie and I were able to run around for a while, but there just weren't very many people out. The drum circle was a lot of fun, though... got a lot of good pictures and video from that. Beanie and Mar's digerido impressions were my happy thought for the remainder of the convention. We also christened the maiden voyage of the SS Furfag, only to watch it get destroyed in a waterfall.

The weekend drew to a close with what has become the traditional Sunday Night Pictochat. Rapeghost, a PacMan ghost with a penis on his head, follows in the Wagawaga spirit by molesting a chain chomp FOR GLORY. Pimo and Rapeghost became friends, and then it just sorta went downhill from there. It eventually descended into "Things Chainchomp Can't Do" and was pretty much the best thing ever.

I think more stuff happened, and I'm pretty sure I ran into more people, but it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm sick of typing.

I leave you with this, the only piece of artwork I got this year: